The situation: The odds of survival were bleak for a man who was born into poverty, witness to extreme violence and victim of abuse. Day in and day out, he focused on keeping himself alive. Caution, intuition, and observation kept him out of harm’s way and in a constant state of alert. His preoccupation with staying alive evolved into a deep source of ambition. 

 

Now an elite athlete, he is a fierce rival. He can sense an energy shift and smell impending danger. The strategies that kept him alive, now make it easy for him to outsmart opponents. But his hyper-vigilance makes him tough to relate to. As a teammate, he is unaccommodating and unapproachable. People often called him tough, but he saw himself as protective. While he wanted to be a better teammate, he was not going to be vulnerable in the process. 

 

The solution: We untangled deeply entrenched misperceptions and began practicing new ways of relating that opened him up to a way of life he had never imagined. While his survival instincts translate into winning on the field, it is not the goal anymore. Danger doesn’t lurk in places close to him—teammates don’t pose threats, but relationships do need boundaries which he used to navigate meaningful relationships safely and at a comfortable pace.